Many businesses harbor a wish to have their brand “go viral” on social media. There’s an old saying to go with that: “Be careful what you wish for—you might get it.”

Of course, the viral wish always comes with positive intent, as in Nabisco’s creative Oreos tweets during the Super Bowl blackout, Red Bull’s impressive kluge video, and a personal favorite, the Grand Rapids lipdub. On the other hand, no one wants to go viral in the manner of Domino’s Pizza or Burger King.

The reality is, nothing goes viral on demand. As with an actual virus, the circumstances must be just right for it to spread. What grows with a bang today might have died with a whisper yesterday. That’s why I’m skeptical when a PR or marketing consultant promises a client to take a story viral; some people have the creativity and resources to increase the odds of a viral story, but in my experience few are powerful enough to make that guarantee.

At the same time, a negative viral experience is not beyond managing. Social media provide equal opportunity for the naysayer and the business to engage the conversation. Indeed, a business facing a social media crisis does itself a grave disservice if it chooses to go silent.

That was the painful lesson learned by a day spa in Portage, Michigan, this week. A customer shared an alleged incident on Facebook involving the shop owner and an autistic child, and the story took off. In short order there were tens of thousands of shares, national media interviews and demands from around the world for a boycott of the business. Instead of speaking for itself, the business shut off its Facebook page, refused to respond to queries and hired a lawyer to speak on its behalf. The shop owner eventually issued an apology—six days after the incident.

As an analysis by MLive/Kalamazoo Gazette pointed out, it was a classic example of a public relations misfire. I had the opportunity to comment for the story, and while I chose not to speak specifically about this situation, I noted how social media has change the rules completely. A decade ago, the idea that a small business in a small community would be vilified by people on the other side of the planet for a customer issue was a fantasy; today, it’s a daily event.

Businesses no longer have the luxury of ignoring a bad story, or taking their time to deal with it. News today—much of which wasn’t news a few years ago—spreads at warp speed through cyberspace. Treating a bad viral story means having a solid social media strategy and engaging the conversation quickly. Those are requirements for every business, regardless of size.

You’re probably familiar with the fable credited to ancient Greek storyteller Aesop involving a workaholic ant and a carefree grasshopper. While the ant labors to store up food for the coming winter, the grasshopper indulges in its music—until the icy winds blow and the grasshopper faces a season of hunger.

The story is often used to preach the perils of procrastination and failure to plan. We apply it to everything from weddings to retirement.

Recently, a client has applied this moral to public relations.

The client has wrestled with an unexpected issue requiring some focused communication. Over coffee one day, the client told me that the experience has been a revelation. Businesses tend to treat public relations like the cover on a fire alarm—“In case of emergency, break glass.” It serves in an as-needed capacity, a tool to be wielded only when complaints appear on Facebook or a politician takes legislative aim.

That’s a practice that needs to change, the client said. It should be an everyday part of the business.

In one respect, PR is an as-needed function; it happens to be needed all the time. Public relations is about building relationships and ensuring ongoing interaction. It’s about engaging stakeholders, sharing information, listening and re-evaluating. Relationships and credibility are created over time, not at the drop of a media statement.

At a board meeting I attended, a person kept talking about the need to “PR” this or that need. I was chagrined, but I held my tongue out of respect; I plan to educate that person in a private moment. 

His comment underscores the widespread misinterpretation of public relations. It's an example of grasshopper thinking. 

We need to think and act more like the ant.

Are public relations firms worth hiring? Brian Tannebaum, lawyer and keeper of the blog Above The Law, answers that question in the first word of a recent post:

“Yes.”

Tannebaum shares his experience with hiring a PR firm when he launched a law practice years ago, back when “social media” meant using a pay phone at the bar. Though money was tight, he knew his venture needed promoting, and he didn’t have the skills or time to try it on his own.

Rarely have I encountered someone outside the public relations field who gets it like Tannebaum does. He laments the rush by his peers to hire digital marketing firms as a single solution, drawing a strong distinction between the benefits of a marketer and those of a public relations practitioner.

While a web presence is essential, he writes, “many of those [digital marketing firms] are former traditional marketers that now want you to believe they have the secrets to the internet because no one wants them to produce a brochure anymore.”

He adds, “You may find it better to actually meet the people that can help you build your business, rather than hope they are pointing and clicking their way to your bank account.”

The key is building relationships—and that’s quality public relations.

“What a good PR agent does well is to put you together with the right people and events, and keep you away from the wrong ones,” says Tannebaum.

It’s true that the line between marketing and communications continues to blur, hence the “marcom” moniker I often see (and dislike). And PR still struggles a bit with measuring its impact, which isn’t usually a challenge in marketing—much harder to measure a relationship than it is to gauge increased sales from an ad campaign or clicks on a web site.

By no means am I dissing marketing; it’s fundamental to growing a business or service. But I think we’re turning down the wrong road when abandon real relationships for digital ones. This is as true for business as it is for individuals.

Public relations is more than a news release, a Facebook post or a good story in the local paper. It’s about connecting with living, breathing human beings, helping them understand you and your enterprise as you strive to know them and their needs.

Relevant?

More than ever.